063: How family storytelling can help you to develop closer relationships and overcome struggles

  "How much can there really be to learn about storytelling?" I thought when I started on this mini-series.   It turns out that there's actually quite a lot to learn, and that family storytelling can be a particularly useful tool for parents. We're all trying to figure out how to transmit our values to our children, and storytelling can be quite an effective way of doing this. Further, storytelling can be a really valuable way to support children in overcoming traumatic experiences - and even to repair relationships after difficult moments like yelling. In this episode we dig into the research on the benefits of family storytelling and look at how to do it effectively.   Questions this episode will answer What exactly is family storytelling and how is it different from just reading books to my kids? We often feel safest when we read books to our kids.  It seems like a ‘script’ that saves us from having to fully understand the situation and come up with our own words to describe it. Family storytelling involves sharing narratives about your own family experiences, values, and history. It creates a powerful connection between generations as you transmit important values. It can help children make sense of their place in your family relationships. The episode explores fascinating research about how these personal narratives shape children's identity in ways that storybooks can't match!   How can family storytelling help during difficult times or after traumatic experiences? When difficult emotions arise in our family, it can be tempting to pretend the situation didn’t happen. We hope our kids will just forget about difficult experiences. Instead, children may worry more when they 'can't talk about what happened. Family storytelling is a valuable tool for helping children overcome traumatic experiences. It helps them to make sense of what happened, and repair their family relationships. This can help children build resilience.   Do all families tell stories the same way, or are there cultural differences? There are fascinating cultural differences in how families engage in storytelling! American families often position children as primary narrators (like asking about their day at dinner). Israeli families tend to create more equal narrative participation between adults and children. The episode explores how these cultural storytelling styles impact child development differently. We offer insights into adapting techniques that might work best for your family.   How do family stories change as children grow older? Parents tend to share different types of stories as children mature. Parents of younger children tend to tell stories with stronger themes of affiliation and connection. Stories shared with older children often shift toward themes of achievement and striving for success. The podcast unpacks the developmental reasons for this progression. We offer ideas on ways to balance different types of stories.   How does the way the story is told affect children? The atmosphere during family storytelling matters a lot. Researchers have studied the factors that create a positive storytelling environment. These include: Courtesy Respect Agreement on story details The episode reveals surprising connections between these communication patterns and children's emotional development. We offer practical guidance for creating storytelling moments that strengthen family bonds.   What happens when family stories evolve into "legacies" over generations? Stories can combine over time and generations. Then they become family legacies that shape how family members view themselves and their place in the world. The podcast explores the...