The Fifth Element

Bonjour! Join me as I tackle my first foreign film, the très Français sci fi blockbuster The Fifth Element. It's the heart-warming story of Bruce Willis as a down-on-his-luck cab driver who meets girl of his dreams Milla Jovovich and takes her on a vacation that includes a cruise ship and Egypt (and 'splosions!). She's beautiful, she's young (waaaay younger than him, actually), she's a natural redhead (well, clown orange, actually), she's a perfect being genetically engineered to fight evil, and she dresses like a Cirque du Soleil performer. What more could you ask for? Multipass! I give some background on the movie and why it's so very, very French. I compare it to Heavy Metal, Fright Night, Léon, Blade Runner, other Bruce Willis movies, and other Milla Jovovich movies. I heap praise on Milla and Bruce, as well as on Brion James and Ian Holm. I suggest that David's collection of makeup and women's-wear might indicate that he has hobbies outside the priesthood. I wonder if Zorg is possessed by alien chocolate syrup. And I try to remember all the other times in movies that Milla Jovovich has woken up naked in a laboratory.