Mega Python vs Gatoroid

It's another Asylum monster/pop star extravaganza, this time with both Debbie Gibson and Tiffany [last name unknown], as well as a Martinez. 'Which Martinez?' you ask? THE Martinez. And a host of pythons and alligators-that-look-more-like-crocodiles-to-me rise out of the Everglades to attack Florida, which I again write off as a total loss. (Seriously, America, we're fully insured, right?) There is pop music (some of which is pretty damn good), cars, and helicopters that change shape in mid-air. There's a herpatologist who can fly a helicopter and an animal rights activist who cares passionately about releasing non-native predators into Florida swamps. Other highlights: swallowing, biting, shooting, and cleavage. Plus, a secret surprise I guarantee will surprise you with its secret! I praise the acting (I think; it's tough to remember all the crap I say, sometimes) but ding the directing (close-ups of people getting eaten is fundamentally cinematically different from people getting eaten).