Sue Atkins (Parenting expert): Raising confident and resilient children

EPISODE NOTES In this episode, Claire talks with Sue Atkins: a parenting expert, author, speaker, coach and broadcaster. Sue previously worked as a teacher and deputy headteacher for over twenty years; however, a period of reflection and re-evaluation whilst walking her dogs lead Sue on to a different path to becoming an author, parental coach and broadcaster. Sue is passionate about supporting, nurturing and helping parents to raise happy, confident and resilient children. As a practitioner and trainer in ‘Neuro-Linguistic Programming’ (NLP) she offers friendly advice that has resulted in the publication of her books ‘Raising Happy Children for Dummies’ and ‘Parenting Made Easy: How to Raise Happy Children’. Sue makes regular appearances on TV and radio to offer her advice and support: ‘This Morning’ and ‘BBC Radio’ to name but a few. She is also Disney’s parenting expert for their Facebook ‘lives’, Ladybird Books’ parenting expert, a counsellor for India’s Parents World magazine, and has established an online Parenting Club.   KEY TAKEAWAYS The importance of parental engagement.There is a lot of crossover between working with children, developing their confidence and resilience, and then working with their parents. Being there to greet children in a morning and chat with the parents, as well as sharing positive feedback at the end of the school day, are effective ways to build a rapport with parents. Time and effort must be spent on aiming to reach out to all parents. There will be parents who value education and they will be the ones who usually engage and become involved in the various events that schools organise. But we must also encourage the parents who, perhaps, had negative experiences at school and think of ways to reach out to those groups. Encouraging resilience.Sue discusses her principles of resilience and how these are important to develop in children to help them feel independent and autonomous. She outlines the importance of a child feeling connected to their family, their school and their community, and also to feeling that they matter and are important and significant. Sue talks about developing children’s understanding that it’s fine to try new things, maybe fail and make mistakes, and how this aspect of being courageous is an important attitude to encourage. Have a vote of confidence in our youngest children.Raising confident and resilient children starts, from a parenting point of view, right at the beginning. A positive mindset, attitude and habits start in the early years. Adults must empower young children to feel capable and confident. We must give children opportunities to find some things difficult rather than be too quick to step in and help as this encourages them to stick with challenging experiences and develop those skills. Adults need to empower young people and children with more independence earlier on. BEST MOMENTS “With good parental relationships, we are breaking down barriers and building bridges, not walls, between parents and children so that we all nurture them and give them the best start we can in life.” “Don’t always rush to rescue a child. Help them sometimes stick with something... We can help children by leaving them to struggle a little bit. Don’t leave them there struggling for ages - that demoralises them - but allow them to feel capable and confident. That builds their self-confidence and builds their self-esteem.” “He couldn’t make that connection [transitioning to Year 7]. He couldn’t get used to the changes; he couldn’t make good friends… That always sat in my mind as a surprise – there was this very self-confident young man in his primary school who struggled to belong, to connect, to feel he was part of the new school for a little while so that triggered something in me to make sure all children should be nurtured, just as good practice. I’m very keen on seeing primaries and secondaries talking a bit more.” “Parents and teachers think [children] are worried about certain things but sometimes it’s actually worth listening to what the children themselves say… what their anxieties or worries are. We mustn’t presume.” “It’s looking at the lines of communication… small ways to make big differences that will make sure that parents, teachers and kids are connected and communicating effectively.” “[Building and maintaining resilience is important] to help a young person feel connected, that they belong, that they’re important, they count, they’re significant, you see them, you hear them, you’re listening to them.” “I think you have to make peace with the fact that you never get it all right. You never juggle it so that everything is in balance all the time… don’t let time dominate you.” “As a former teacher and deputy head, I’ve got many, many friends who are still teaching and I just watch them in awe... Teachers are absolutely outstanding and need a real pat on the back and a medal. They are doing their very, very best.” “If you follow your passion, believe in yourself, and keep doing small things regularly every day, it’s amazing where you can turn out and where you can go and you just take your life into a different direction. We’ve got to adapt, we’ve got to be flexible, but we’ve got to realise what’s important to us and then take off from there.”   VALUABLE RESOURCES Website: https://sueatkinsparentingcoach.com/ Sue Atkins – Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sueatkinstheparentingexpert Sue Atkins - Books: https://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle-dbs/entity/author/B00DVOOXAK Sue Atkins – Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/sueatkins Sue Atkins – Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sueatkins18 Sue Atkins – LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/sueatkins Sue Atkins - Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.co.uk/thesueatkins Classroom Secrets Kids: https://kids.classroomsecrets.co.uk The Teachers’ Podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheTeachersPodcast/ Classroom Secrets Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ClassroomSecretsLimited/ Classroom Secrets website: https://classroomsecrets.co.uk/ LIFE/work balance campaign: https://classroomsecrets.co.uk/lifeworkbalance-and-wellbeing-in-education-campaign-2019/   ABOUT THE HOST 'My mother is a teacher. I will never be a teacher.' - Claire Riley Claire arrived at the end of her performing arts degree with no firm plans to move into the entertainment industry. A fully funded secondary teaching course seemed like the perfect way to stall for a year on deciding what to do with her life. Turns out, teaching was her thing.  Three years in a challenging secondary school - check. Two years in primary schools with over 90% EAL children - check. Eight years doing day-to-day supply across 4-18 - check. If there's one thing she learnt, it was how to identity the best ideas from every school in terms of resources and use that knowledge to create something that would work for teachers far and wide. In 2013, Classroom Secrets was born. Claire had seen other resource sites and wanted to add something to the market that she felt was missing. More choice + More quality = Balance. Claire is a self-proclaimed personal development junkie and is always looking for ways to learn and improve. It's usually centred around business, her new-found passion. In 2019, Claire launched The Teachers' Podcast that hits the charts on launch and is listed in the top 200 educational podcasts most weeks. The Teachers’ Podcast is a series of interviews where Claire meets with a wide range of guests involved in the field of education. These podcasts provide exciting discussions and different perspectives and thoughts on a variety of themes which are both engaging and informative for anyone involved in education.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.