BONUS: Jack Watson (Classroom Secrets): Talking about Teaching Anxiety

The Teachers' Podcast - A podcast by Claire Riley

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In this episode, Claire speaks with Jack Watson, a former primary school teacher and now Resource Creator at Classroom Secrets. Jack joined Classroom Secrets in October 2018 and started his journey as a Customer Service Administrator, then Sales Representative and currently works as a Resource Creator. Growing up, Jack always knew he wanted to be a teacher. He studied, attended university and graduated with a teaching qualification. After his graduation, Jack got his first job in Halifax and was ready to enter the teaching world with his passion, motivation and zeal. Due to the workload of the job, Jack’s love of teaching started to decrease. He started to develop work-related stress and anxiety. For a long time, he suppressed his feelings and was unable to speak to any friends, family or colleagues about his well-being and work-related stress. In the podcast, Jack talks about his teaching journey and why he decided to quit. He talks about the challenges he faced as a teacher, as well as, what happened after he resigned. He speaks about a heart-breaking decision he made after quitting and explains how he got to where he is today. Jack speaks about the support and services available for people suffering from work-related stress. He emphasises the importance of seeking advice from professionals, colleagues and family. *If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this podcast, you can contact the Samaritans, who provide confidential, emotional support for people who are experiencing feelings of distress or despair. Helpline: 08457 90 90 90 (24 hours a day, seven days a week) Website: https://www.samaritans.org/  KEY TAKEAWAYS Demands of the jobDue to the nature of the job and the expectations including teaching and paperwork, it requires much more from an individual than their directed teaching time. Teachers are expected to complete all tasks even if this requires them to work long hours of the day, which is usually the case. Instead of leaving tasks for the next day, teachers endeavour to complete all tasks as and when they are given. The task may be complete, but they never end and constantly increasing. Making decisionsTeaching is a tiring job because multiple decisions need to be made. It is hard for a teacher to track all the decisions they have made but they are solely responsible for their class. Talk to your familySpeak to family members. They will be able to see it with a fresh pair of eyes. They will be able to provide guidance on what’s best for you and your well-being. Subsequently, this will support and benefit your attitude and energy for the following teaching day. Seek medical adviceSome teachers may not need time off work. The consultant maybe able to offer specialised support and advice on available services and support groups, as well as, some tips on how to maintain a positive well-being. Speak to the Senior Leadership TeamBe open and honest with management within your school. Share your worries and concerns and ask for advice. See what support they are willing to offer. Manage your time effectivelyManage your workload and time wisely. Allow yourself the evening if needed to relax and not do any work, rather than overworking and exhausting yourself for the next day. Find techniques that work for you, if you can’t do it on an evening, wake up the following day earlier and get it done. Talk to peopleReach out and find sessions where you can talk openly and honestly. Don’t be afraid to speak to others. They may give you the key to your trapped door. Research services such as mixed peer support groups, social media forums, services provided by your medical consultant. Coping techniquesAfter seeking advice, find and implement the strategies that work for you. If they don’t work for you don’t force them to work. Some will, some won’t. The ones that do continue using them to develop a positive mental well-being. Give teachers timeTeachers should be given time to complete the tasks. This prevents them from worrying which will ultimately affect their well-being positively. BEST MOMENTS “[I] was eager, enthusiastic and ready to go, let’s do it. [It] didn’t quite live up to the expectations I that I had built up in my head, despite going on all the placements.” “I think there's a massive step between a final year student and this is your responsibility. It's one of the biggest professions where within five years, newly qualified people leave the profession, it's one of the highest percentages. I think that says a lot in itself in terms of that jump. It's almost like the NQT year is designed to be that stepping stone, but there needs to be a stepping stone before that stepping stone.” 1:39 -2:05 “The more you do, the more you need to do. Eventually I was doing as much as I physically could but still needed to do more. That was just a natural progression, it just happened.” 2:15 - 2:30 “Eventually I became rather panicky, anxious [and] worried about someone coming in to do an observation.” “It [got] to the point, where in my head, anytime a teacher or an SLT came to speak to me it meant that they were going to come ask me to do something that I felt physically felt like I didn’t have time or capacity to do.” “It got to a point where I couldn’t into the building.” “Went to see the doctor and the doctor signed me off for work-related stress and anxiety. That brings its own stress of money, [thinking] what am I going to do next, I’ve failed. I did all this training for nothing…that takes your self-esteem down.” “I decided that teaching is no longer where I want to be. I left and would just sit home. Sometimes I couldn’t get out of bed, felt so ashamed that I let myself down, my mum, dad, partner, everybody that supported me during that journey of training. I’ve taken it away from them and it does eat you up.” “Some places would say you are overly qualified, you’d be bored. Some people would say we are looking for someone more long-term and we can tell after looking at your qualifications that it is just going to a filler.” “The day I finished my 12 weeks probation [at B&Q] is the day I left.” “The private sector is very different from the public sector and it just didn’t quite work for me.” “You’re that focused on what you have to do and you are that focused on the time, the energy you are investing on other things that when someone tells you that you need to do this instead of that or tells you to do this, as well as, that you beat yourself up that you’re not good enough and that you are not doing it right, you are letting the children down that are in front of you. It started off with just being nervous about someone coming in or doing a book scrutiny. From there it just snowballs that you start to panic about someone coming to watch you.” “Towards the end of my teaching, I would set off in my car and drive past three or four times before plucking up the courage to actually get in and do a day’s work. Then take home another day’s worth of work home to do in the evening.” “The amount that it requires to do it to the level that it’s needed, there isn’t enough hours in a day. I would beat myself up that I couldn’t do more. I couldn’t do everything plus the three things that someone asked me to do that day. I became so scared that someone was going to say that I wasn’t good enough because I already felt it so if someone else said it, it was confirming how I felt. It made it worse again and it you just sort of spiral from there.” 7:47 – 8:24 “Teaching [for me] is standing in front of children and imparting new knowledge on them, allowing them the opportunity to practise it and looking at whether they need more practise or whether they have got it to move onto the next piece of learning. Teaching in reality, is that between the hours of 9am to 3:30pm but then you’ve got three hours to go on books, then you might have a vulnerable child that needs this report writing, then you might have this SEND child that needs you to do this separately for them which is absolutely fine because that’s part of the job and that’s what they need for you to impart that knowledge on to them. Then you have data, tracking progress this big long second job which takes the same if not more amount of time then the actually teaching. It’s like two 37.5-hour jobs rather than a job.” 10:26-11:27 “I had a panic attack on day 1 [at B&Q]. It was new and I didn’t know what to expect. I hadn’t told anybody of me having anxiety and panic attacks, so I am trying to concentrate on [not having one]. The more you talk about it (in your head) of don’t do it, the more it’s inevitable going to happen. Came around, told them about it and one of the managers said, ‘come with me’, [he] picked a chair around from behind one of the desks, sat me down and said this is your safe space. He said ‘if at any point you need a little bolt hole, you need to just get away you come and sit on this chair and if you are sat on that chair people know to just leave you alone for five minutes’.” “I could do everything exactly the same as everybody else just because I had that understanding that if I needed five minutes to go sit down and talk to myself, I could have five minutes to talk to myself. You don’t have that in the classroom. You cannot leave for five minutes to just compose yourself.” “I know how hard it is to talk to anybody, never mind talking to the person that’s doing the judging. It’s like saying here is my weak card, use this against me if you want. But they [SLT] need to know. If they don’t know they can’t do anything about.” 17:58 – 18:15 “It’s expecting something to change that can beat you up because 9 times out of 10 nothing can be done about it. If there is, they need know in order to try and do that.” “Have as much time away from it as you are comfortable in allowing yourself. Make sure your Saturday and Friday nights are yours. Your Sunday evenings can be the day to catch up.” 18:37 – 18:54 “Work is there to facilitate your life, not life there to facilitate your work. If you get that balance the wrong way around all you are doing is working, you never switch off. In order to do any job to the best of your ability, you need to be in that position (mentally and physically) to do it.” “It’s knowing when you have got the time and energy to do it.” “If you add up all those clicks, before you know it you have a big bang. The big bang makes a big difference rather than a click.” “If anybody told me to do something, I would try it. If it didn’t work, it’d stop doing it and if it did work, I’d keep doing it.” “I’d take someone’s advice and twist it so it would work for me.” “I felt that inadequate, ashamed, down and it’s not just teaching that takes you there, but teaching takes you [a] certain way and then life adds on. I don’t want to be an education banisher. It started the ball rolling and things progressed. I’d been taken to hospital after taking an overdose and written letter to family members because I felt that low that I couldn’t put people through looking after me anymore. I could put through ‘I’m alright, no I’m not again, I’m alright, no I’m not again’. The rollercoaster of mental health, I couldn’t put up with that any longer. I convinced myself that it was the right thing to do…[I] waited for something to happen but nothing did so I started to panic. [I] rang my partner and told her what happened… my friends were making sure I was awake. I was taken to hospital to check that the tablets I had taken had not done any damage. I was assessed by the Mental Health Crisis Team and was given advise not to be left on my own and that can be suffocating in itself you need to be left alone.” “In order to prove you are getting better you need to be given opportunities to prove that show that you are getting better. It was a long journey.” “Everybody wants to know everything once your cry for help was that loud.” “You’ve got no option other than to talk.” “You have to show them [your family] you are alright before they understand.” “You think ‘I can’t give anymore’. Don’t tell me that I have to do this because I can’t do it. I’m here as long as possible.” “When you stop, you drop.” “You know that you are giving it your all, you are giving it all that you have got, so when you are told that everything you have got is not good enough, it can hurt.” “You don’t want to be treated any differently.” “You just want to be able to do it.” “Children don’t have to respond to every piece of feedback. Having a group not going to assembly and saying ‘you all made this mistake in your [task]. I’ve not written in your books because I’ve seen it and we are going to look at it now. That’s enough. It’s means you are not spending 20 minutes writing a paragraph in 10 books.” “Look out for ‘I’m fine.’ People will say ‘yeah, I’m alright’ when really they are drowning.” “I would just strongly advise anybody that is struggling to just say ‘listen I need some help’.” “Just because you are struggling mentally doesn’t mean you can’t go to the doctors and say, ‘this is what’s going on here’ and you will get some help. That’s where the stigma arises because it’s invisible people think ‘yeah I’m alright’.” “You become a really good actor… it depends on that person if they are a good actor or not.” “Everybody in a school environment, any office environment or any workplace should be responsible for their colleagues and [have] a pastoral care or role with each other. Just asking that extra question.” “When you are working in any environment with the same people every day, you do begin to know what their normal is.” VALUABLE RESOURCES Andy’s Many Club: http://andysmanclub.co.uk/Andy’s Many Club: https://www.facebook.com/andysmanclub/Mental Health Crisis Team: https://www.rethink.org/aboutus/what-we-do/advice-and-information-service/get-help-now/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMIhYG5mJ-K5wIVibHtCh3-uA1tEAAYASAAEgKLMPD_BwEThe Samaritans: https://www.samaritans.org/ or call on: 116123The Teachers’ Podcast: https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheTeachersPodcast/Classroom Secrets Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ClassroomSecretsLimited/Classroom Secrets website: https://classroomsecrets.co.uk/ LIFE/work balance campaign: https://classroomsecrets.co.uk/lifeworkbalance-and-wellbeing-in-education-campaign-2019/   ABOUT THE HOSTClaire Riley Claire, alongside her husband Ed, is one of the directors of Classroom Secrets, a company she founded in 2013 and which provides outstanding differentiated resources for teachers, schools, parents and tutors worldwide. Having worked for a number of years as a teacher in both Primary and Secondary education, and experiencing first-hand the difficulties teachers were facing finding appropriate high-quality resources for their lessons, Claire created Classroom Secrets with the aim of helping reduce the workload for all school staff. Claire is a passionate believer in a LIFE/work balance for those who work in education citing the high percentage of teachers who leave or plan to leave their jobs each year. Since February 2019, Classroom Secrets has been running their LIFE/work balance campaign to highlight this concerning trend. The Teachers’ Podcast is a series of interviews where Claire meets with a wide range of guests involved in the field of education. These podcasts provide exciting discussions and different perspectives and thoughts on a variety of themes which are both engaging and informative for anyone involved in education.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.