MIDLIFE DATING. How to get that toxic man out of you head (so you can carry on being your fabulous self) - 33

Question“What do you do when you can't get a man out of your head?”I want to message him so much but I know long term he's no good for me....how do you cope with that? What can I do to move past this horrible feeling that I'm never gonna meet anyone else? Sorry if this is not allowed I just feel so fucked up right now …Hey, I had a great question and it's about dating, and I've got a feeling it's gonna resonate with some of you. So the question is; What do you do when you can't get a man out of your head? I want to message him so much, but I know long term he's no good for me. How do you cope with that? How can I move past this horrible feeling that I'm never going to meet anyone else? So let's unpack this together. Hey, my name is Star Monroe psychotherapist, turned your midlife dating bestie and I talk about reinvention, relationships, dating and sex in midlife.So let's start at the beginning. And if you are to have better relationships, then you have to learn how to date differently. You have to plug back into yourself over and over and again and get clear on what is working for you and what isn't working for you. I call it becoming your very own dating detective. You want to create your very own dating dossier on what's tripping you up in the dating and relationship field. So if I was to look at the foundations you need to date successfully, to attract healthy, conscious love, you have to have a really good sense of who you are and what you want. You've got to know your dating intentions. And you've got to have a real deep understanding of what is the energy that you are dating with what is the energy that's coming out from your pores as you go out into the dating world and it doesn't matter if you're online dating or you're meeting people in real life, your energy speaks louder than you ever will. So something that I've noticed and there's no shame because I noticed this with myself in the past and I see it with my clients is that a lot of people date because they want to fill a void in themselves. Maybe that void is that they don't feel good, the void is that they feel lonely. Loneliness is a big one. Maybe it's because they're living in this narrative that I'm never going to meet anybody and I've got to grab whoever's coming my way now. Or it could be - and I resonate with this one - the first person that was ever nice to me. I was like, that's great. And it was always like they picked me, they chose me, I never chose them. And this all comes back down to our self-identity, how we look at ourselves.The journey around dating and relationships is the ultimate journey in self-love. It's the ultimate journey in really understanding and getting to know yourself at a deep level. And also it's going to be a big healing journey for a lot of you as well. So if I go back to the question, what do you do when you can't get a man out of your head? I want to message him so much but I know long term he's no good for me. So what I want to pull out from this is that this lovely woman knows she knows that this guy is no good for her. And that's the first thing that I want to send her into is because women know you know what is right and what is wrong. You have such a powerful, instinctual capacity within you and yet the way that we live in a society, our patriarchal society, pulls us away from the wisdom of our body. And your job is to plug back into this wisdom over and over again. You are powerful and capable. You have just got to disrupt and agitate the conditioning and the identities and the stories that keep you second-guessing yourself as you choose to do things differently on this dating journey. You are learning to choose yourself over and over again. The most important relationship you are ever going to have is the one with yourself, not with another it's always going to be with yourself. And that is going to be challenging. I'm not going...