186 SelfWork: When You've Lost Yourself

Getting lost in a relationship. .. if you’ve ever done it, you know the sinking feeling in your gut that comes when you think about it again. Somehow your “self” – the you that you knew before the relationship began - got ignored, changed, forgotten, absorbed, or even ridiculed. There are lots of reasons how this could happen. Actual abuse, manipulation by someone with narcissistic traits or other disorders, being lied to and deceived. Doing all the giving and very little receiving. I could go on and on about the “why’. But today, in this episode sponsored by BetterHelp, I'll be sharing my own story of "self"-recovery. And we'll turn to Dr. Guy Winch's advice about putting you back together again – but in a new and hopefully wiser way. The listener email is from a man whose wife displays many of the traits of perfectly hidden depression, but he doesn’t know how to approach her, and he’s also wondering about how perfectionism could be viewed through the lens of attachment theory. Important Links: BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now! Test to assess attachment styles found in Psychology Today The article by Dr. Guy Winch Article entitled "The Darker Side of Perfectionism which addresses its relationship with perfectionism You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome! My new book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression has arrived and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook! Now there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!   Test to assess attachment styles found in Psychology Today The article by Dr. Guy Winch Article entitled "The Darker Side of Perfectionism which addresses its relationship with perfectionism       Our Sponsors: * Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code SELFWORK for a great deal: happymammoth.com * Check out Paired: paired.com/SELFWORK Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands