In Search Of A System

The Homeschool Sanity Show - A podcast by Melanie Wilson, PhD - Tuesdays

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Hey, homeschoolers! I love systems. When I started my series for A Year of Living Productively, I thought I would come up with the perfect productivity system for me and my readers. I have also looked for homeschooling systems, parenting systems, and cooking systems to make my life easier. I know I’m not the only one who loves systems. They sell. If you search for system and its synonyms like approach and program, you will find thousands and thousands of options that promise to deliver a blissful life of ease. But I recently read an article that changed my mind about systems. In this episode, I want to share why we search for systems, why they so often fail, and what we should do instead. Watch on YouTube Why do we search for systems? First, we want to change or improve. We want an easier way to homeschool. We want a meal-planning approach that takes less time. We want a step-by-step plan for getting into shape that guarantees success. But what drives us to want to change or improve? The same thing that drove me to beg for an epidural for my first labor: We have some kind of pain that we want to do away with. We are struggling to motivate ourselves or our kids. We feel like we’re failing. We or our family members are unhappy. Or we feel that we lack in comparison. Our friend’s child got a college scholarship. Comparison may lead to fear of the future if we don’t change direction. If we don’t increase the rigor of our high schooler’s courses, study prep, or extracurricular activities, they not only won’t get a scholarship, they won’t be accepted, we fear. So we seek out a system that promises to help us change or improve and alleviates the pain or our fear for the future. But systems often fail—not always but often. We think it’s the system’s fault. And sure, some systems aren’t realistic or sustainable. I’m thinking about the 75 Hard system that has you working out twice a day (once outside), eating clean, and drinking a gallon of water for 75 days in a row. Most systems we attempt, however, are not this obviously unrealistic. We’re pretty sure the system will work for us. But therein lies the problem. As soon as we contemplate using a new, shiny system, we feel better. The pain decreases. That’s true even for my system—The Organized Homeschool Life. When you think about using the plan to get your homeschool and life in order (15 minutes at a time), your stress level goes down. You know what to do. And you can easily organize for an hour a week. Whew! You buy the book and that’s one more stressor you can cross off your list. You don’t need to buy anything to make The Organize Homeschool Life system work for you. But many systems require products. You need the equipment, the apps, the books. When you purchase or acquire products, your anxiety goes down. You not only have a plan; you are putting it into action. Sometimes when we choose a system, we feel we need to spend time planning how to implement it. We need to decide when and where to work out and with whom. We need to decide which area needs the most organizational help.

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