If I Have A Baby, Will I Lose Myself?

This is part two of our two-part Q&A about motherhood and non-motherhood. You can listen to part one here. CW: In this podcast, we discuss pregnancy and having children, and our own personal experiences with those topics. We know these are difficult topics for many people. If you’re struggling with infertility, or have suffered miscarriage, or have lost children, we know that questions around pregnancy and “choosing” to have children can be particularly painful. If this is the case for you, this may be a good episode to skip.So much about diving headfirst into Big Adult Life Decisions is about embracing the unknown. And few things require more leaping into the unknown than becoming a parent — the first time or the third time or not at all. The unanswerable questions are literally endless: How will your body react to pregnancy, should you want to and be able to (both big ifs) become pregnant in the first place? What will labor be like? Will your child be healthy? How will your body recover from childbirth? Will you still feel like yourself, and if not, for how long? What will your ambition look like? How will your friendships change, whether or not you have kids? How will you balance work and parenting? If you never have children, what will your older years look like? If you want children and are single, how should you preserve your fertility? If you aren’t sure if you want to have kids, how do you broach those conversations while dating? What will the world look like in 50 years if you choose to bring new humans into it?In this episode, we dive into more of the thoughtful, thought-provoking, difficult-to-answer questions we got from you, our community. We discuss things like financial readiness, maintaining friendships across parent/non-parent lines, and how to maintain your sense of self if you decide to have children. We also try our hand at giving some advice: on egg freezing, on dating while grappling with whether you want kids, and on feeling like being a “baby maker” is somehow “unfeminist.” Like in our first installment, we come to few hard and fast conclusions, but like so many things, the beauty is in the discussion.Hope you enjoy this candid conversation! XoIf you liked reading this, click the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack!Give us feedback or suggest a topic for the pod • Subscribe • Request a free subscription This is a public episode. If you’d like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit claireandemma.substack.com/subscribe