5. Boundaries

You know how kids are like—if you give them an inch, they’ll take a yard. The same can be said for other parents who are your friends most of the time but can innocently expect too much—or something too specific—from you. Having your personal boundaries crossed time and time again can lead to stress and wear down your resolve. Remember that you’re the captain of this parenting ship. If you’re feeling too worn down or compromised that ship is going to run aground, which isn’t good for anyone. So let’s work on making those boundaries reasonable yet firm, eh? In this episode, Jamie breaks down how high expectations from other parents can lead to broken boundaries, discusses ways you can overcome your fear of necessary confrontation, and explains why it’s so important to make boundaries clear to all parties. The Finer Details of This Episode:   Figuring out how too soft or too strict personal boundaries can carry over to your parenting boundaries. If you’re finding yourself spread too thin, that might be a sign you’ve ceded too much personal territory to your kids and others. It’s true: women find their parental boundaries strained more often than men. So what can we do to remedy that? Expectations for parenting (food, first aid, education) are so much higher than when our parents were raising us. But these raised expectations can eat into our boundaries. How unclear expectations lead to crossed boundaries, which in turn leads to resentment. It can feel rude to enforce boundaries at first, but healthy boundaries will lead to healthier, more honest relationships in the long term. An example of the boundaries Jamie has her son Pascal set with his cousin. Setting healthy boundaries might mean confrontation—which can be scary—but you don’t have to do it alone! Quotes:   “People who have really good personal boundaries may have too stringent boundaries with their kids, and their kids are kicking against that.”   “If you have weak personal boundaries you are going to have weak parenting boundaries.”   “The pressures these days to be a perfect mom is just unbelievably off the charts.”   “A normal, healthy person is going to respect your boundary and if they don’t? Another clue that you’re dealing with someone who’s not healthy.”   “If you didn’t lay out your expectations, you can’t expect people to know it.” Links:   Brené Brown - https://brenebrown.com   Jamie’s homepage - http://www.jamieglowacki.com/   Oh Crap! Potty Training - https://www.amazon.com/Crap-Potty-Training-Everything-Parenting-ebook/dp/B00V3L8YSU Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices