71. Their Journey is Not My Journey

We show up in other people’s journeys all the time, whether we mean to or not. Do you find yourself comparing your own journey with others in judgment or jealousy? It’s time to break free from that cycle and learn once and for all that their journey is not your journey.   How to Show Up on Someone Else’s Journey Be curious and ask questions Take feedback on your approach Create space and have boundaries Be open to give and receive Don’t compare your journeys   Showing Up without Comparison or Judgement It doesn’t matter what type of journey it is, comparing yours to someone else’s will never be a good time. You’ll either slide into judging the other person or you’ll feel inadequate.  This is why it’s so important to understand that no two journeys will ever look the same (ever!) and that that is perfectly okay. In fact, it’s more than okay. People’s personal journeys aren’t supposed to be the same. But there will always be times when you show up in someone else’s journey. So how do we do that in a way that’s healthy for both of us? We also need to ensure we’re showing up without judgment to avoid that comparisonitis trap.   How to Show Up in Someone’s Journey There are ways to show up in someone else’s journey in a healthy way. I often practice this with my daughters and their experience coming into womanhood. Be curious, ask gentle questions, and be open to feedback and with your experiences. But the most important aspect of sharing journeys is to create boundaries for both of you. You need to know how to keep yourself safe - from judgment and comparison - and they need to know they’re free from judgment as well. Give yourself space and grace when showing up in someone else’s story. But above all, make sure you’re protecting your own space.   Homework for Women Physicians Who’s journey do you put yourself in a lot of the time? Decide how you can show up for that journey but give yourself and them the space to protect your boundaries. That’s where the magic is. Let me know what you decide in the comments on the episode page.   In This Episode  Why you don’t need to compare yourself to other people [6:30] How to show up on someone else’s journey [12:15] What happens when you judge someone else’s circumstances [15:45] Why it’s essential to give yourself space when on someone else’s journey [24:15] How to support someone else while maintaining boundaries [27:00]   Quotes “There are some things out there that say, ‘how do you talk to your daughter about her body? You don’t.’ I get it, but I also think that it’s going to come up. Let’s be prepared for how we’ll have that discussion.” [13:15] “My journey is not your journey. Your journey is not my journey. We have to spend the extra energy that we’re using to judge and compare and bring it back to ourselves, asking ‘how do I want to show up here?’” [17:46] “If we’re very deliberate about how we show up on someone else’s journey, we will definitely find the space for ourselves.” [24:20] “We can’t possibly know how someone else’s journey feels, but we can show up in our way so that we can help support that journey.” [27:10]   Resources Mentioned The Course to “Cure” Mental, Emotional, and Physical Burnout for Women Physicians (48 AMA PRA Category 1 Credits)  Join the Transform Waitlist  Join G.O.A.L.S. Society Free for 30 Days Check out the full episode page here Find Life Coaching for Women Physicians Online Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky on Facebook | Instagram  Subscribe to Life Coaching for Women Physicians on Apple Podcasts Podcast production by the team at Counterweight Creative   Related Episodes Episode 62: Creating Boundaries to Grow with Dr. Sasha Shillcutt  Episode 66: Dr. Dena George on Editing Your Life Story  Episode 51: Dr. Daisy Ramirez-Estrada On Learning to Prioritize Self Care