29. "I'm Dreading The Holidays"

The three things you need to have for a successful holiday season: A solid plan Accountability with yourself and others Set and stick to boundaries   If you’re dreading the holidays, trust me, you are not alone. From family drama, food choices, and plans changing to stress, upset, and disarray, the holidays are a wild time! Let’s talk about how you can approach them without dread.   The Chief Complaint: “I’m Dreading the Holidays” Holidays come with their own stress and difficulties. Especially as physicians, we’re likely to absolutely dread them. Wouldn’t it be nice not to have to do this?   You Need to Make a Detailed Plan I know that the holidays will look a bit (or a lot) different this year, but that doesn’t necessarily make them any less stressful. Planning for the holidays is so incredibly important and is the first thing you need to do to keep your holidays dread free. So first things first, get yourself a calendar and mark important dates in it. Include what days you’re working, when you’re taking holidays, what family events there are, and any other thing you can think of to include. This lets you know, at a glance, what you need to do and when. Then I want you to do a regular thought entry exercise. Even for 3 minutes a day, take the time to write down exactly what you’re feeling. Look for patterns and notice how your emotions ebb and flow. I also absolutely know what it’s like to dread the holidays when you’re following a specific eating plan. I want to reiterate that I don’t believe any foods are bad, but they might be “sometimes” foods. My best advice is to eat when you’re hungry and stop eating when you’re full. I would also recommend setting a minimum amount of exercise into the holidays. Don’t overcommit yourself at all, but be flexible. If you can’t make it to the gym, maybe you can go for a long family walk!   Accountability and Boundaries are Key You should also look at accountability for the holidays. What does this look like for you? How can you make accountability work as smoothly as possible? For some people, group accountability, like my 3-Day Thanksgiving Workout Series, is the key to them staying on track. But for others, group programs don’t work and it’s all down to them as an individual. Figure out what kind of accountability works best for you and hold yourself to it. Along these same lines, set yourself some boundaries. Yes, I said to yourself. If you can’t stick to your own boundaries, it’s more unlikely that other people will, either. You should also set some clear boundaries with the people you’re spending the holidays with. And, I also want you to ask yourself if you respect other people’s boundaries? This can help you examine your own.   Homework for Women Physicians Ask yourself what you need to do to create headspace this holiday season. Are you a boundary pusher? Let me know in the comments on the episode page.   In This Episode  Why you need to have a plan for the holiday season [4:15] How to come up with new, extra special ideas when you can’t do usual holiday plans [7:00] Why you should allow yourself the flexibility in your plan to adjust your diet plan over the holidays [13:00] What accountability over the holidays looks like [21:33] Why you should evaluate your own relationship with boundaries [25:20]   Quotes “The whole idea of knowing what to expect is huge. As long as you know what to expect, you’re already setting yourself up for success.” [4:56] “Planning is one of those things that can absolutely free time up for you and also allow you to enjoy the experience even more.” [7:35] “You can get a great workout by doing so many different things. Go ahead and use that to your advantage and just think about how you can think outside the box!” [20:15] “You have to realize that you don’t need anybody to be looking over your should to make sure you’re checking boxes. This is about you doing this because you’re worth it.” [22:49] “The more that you can respect your own boundaries, the more you will expect other people’s boundaries.” [25:08]   Resources Mentioned Check out the full episode page here Join The 3-Day Thanksgiving Workout Series  7-Day FREE Mind-Body Activation Program  Join the G.O.A.L.S. Society Find Life Coaching for Women Physicians Online Follow Dr. Ali Novitsky on Facebook | Instagram  Subscribe to Life Coaching for Women Physicians on Apple Podcasts Podcast production by the team at Counterweight Creative   Related Episodes Episode 26: “No One Can Do It As Well As Me” Episode 25: “Everyone Needs Something From Me” Episode 8: “I Lose All My Progress On Weekends”