Kay Hallsworth, Operations Manager, Association of Royal Navy Officers
“Being yourself at work…” as easy as it sounds? “…in the military, there is a stereotype of what a military person is… and over the past 30 or 40 years, we've made some changes.So we've increased the number of women that are Serving… it's no longer illegal to be homosexual within the Armed Forces, we've got more Commonwealth personnel Serving with us. We are a very diverse organisation now, but some people still feel they have to mirror that stereotype… to get on in the world.…I hid my illness for a very long time, because I was scared of what people would think of me. That takes energy. And that distracts you from doing what you we really should be doing. So if you can be your real self at work, you can bring your whole self to work, and you feel comfortable doing that… you're bringing your full energy to work, and you can commit to your job and be a better Service person.”Kay joined the Royal Navy in 1992 as a student nurse; and, as a Medical Service officer, was medically discharged in March this year, “I'm at the point now where I'm disabled”, and now works as the Operations Manager for the Association of Royal Navy Officers and the Royal Navy Officers’ Charity.We hear how Kay’s M.E., known to some as ‘Chronic Fatigue Syndrome’, impacted on her Service life, along with mental health issues, “…there were a couple of incidents within my career… that a psychiatrist has confirmed they were the triggers and I was diagnosed with what's known as ‘High Functioning Depression’. Now, that pressure within the work environment did make that depression worse and made my anxiety worse, because my anxiety meant that I constantly felt I had to be achieving… …I know you've spoken to Bex (Fyans), she's obviously the Naval Service Woman of the Year this year, I was the one the year before because I was constantly doing stuff. You know, I was Patient Advocate for Admiral Marshall in the Disability Forum, I worked with the Naval Servicemen’s Network, with the Compass Network. I was always doing things for other people and I didn't really have that self-compassion in myself to step back and say, ‘Stop. No. I'm not doing this.’ And it was about performance and about how I wanted to continue in my career and prove that I could do it, even though I was ill. And I think that probably made the situation worse.”Kay’s husband is her carer and looks after domestic life, “But he doesn't like to carry the title of being a ‘carer’. He's just, as far as he's concerned, a stay-at-home parent and a self-employed businessman. But actually, he does a lot more.”“… people automatically assume that a carer will be a woman. They also automatically assume tIf you’re a member of the Armed Forces community and need support with your mental health, Op Courage can help. Or you could phone the Combat Stress Helpline on: 0800 138 1619Company of Makers exists to support veterans and their families who are struggling on civvy street no matter how long ago they left the armed forces.We do this by running a programme of Podcasts | Talks | Workshops.Company of Makers are trying to reach, and better understand, all members of the armed forces community who are also gamers. We’re especially interested in those that have served in conflicts over the last 30 years.To find out more contact us.