From IVF to Foster Care to Film: Haven & Koy's Journey
The Queer Family Podcast - A podcast by Jaimie kelton
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Haven and Koy's journey to parenthood included IVF, IUIs, anonymous and known donors, multiple moves, and ultimately foster care—where they met and adopted their 6-year-old son, River. In this final episode of our Pride Extravaganza, they open up to our host, Jaimie Kelton, about what it’s really like navigating foster-to-adopt as queer parents, how loss and resilience shaped their parenting journey, and how all of it inspired a new film.Oh—and did we mention River is the star of that film?This episode is loud, joyful, chaotic, and beautifully honest—just like queer family life.🎙️ “Each child has their own story, and I don’t own them—I’m just a steward of this being in this particular form.” - Haven🏳️🌈 Thanks to our sponsor California Cryobank!Thinking of growing your queer family? Use code QUEERFAM25 at cryobank.com for a FREE Level 2 subscription to their donor catalog!🏳️🌈 Interested in advertising? Check out our sponsor packages here.🎧 Loved this episode?Support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for exclusive bonus content and help keep these stories alive!OR become a paid subscriber through our RedCircle page for bonus episodes and one-time or recurring donations:🔗 redcircle.com/thequeerfamilypodcast/exclusive-content🏳️🌈 Key TakeawaysQueer family building isn’t linear. Haven and Koy tried it all—IVF, IUI, anonymous and known donors—before ultimately becoming parents through foster-to-adopt.Loss and resilience go hand in hand. Their journey included fertility struggles and miscarriage, but they remained open to the many ways a family can form.Foster care is complex—and emotional. They share what it’s really like to foster with the hope of adopting, and how they advocated fiercely to keep their son, River, in their home.Chosen family is real (and loud). River’s extended family includes his birth relatives and his very queer, very loving forever parents—and yes, sometimes a dog or cat impression.Art imitates life. Koy turned their family’s experience into a powerful new film, Getting Back, exploring grief, healing, and the magic of imagination—with River in the starring role.🏳️🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️🌈Haven and Koy are partners, parents, and creatives raising their son, River, in Oregon. Haven is an attorney and actor-turned-filmmaker, and Koy is a musician and comedian with a flair for the unexpected (she once had three personas on stage at once—ask her about it). Together, they’ve navigated the complex and emotional terrain of queer family building—from IVF and known donor insemination to the foster care system and adoption.Their lived experience inspired Haven’s latest film, Getting Back, starring none other than River himself. The film is a meditation on grief, love, and imagination—everything their family is built on🏳️🌈 Resources MentionedGetting Back Movie Trailer - https://youtu.be/NvFmif_k8fE?feature=sharedWebsite: riverwildfilms.comInstagram - @gettingbackfilm🏳️🌈 What resonated most with you?Drop a comment, DM us, or email [email protected]—we love hearing your stories!🏳️🌈 Let’s Connect!Find us on IG, TikTok, Bluesky, & YouTube: @thequeerfamilypodcast 🏳️🌈 Watch full episodes on YouTube🏳️🌈 Order the If These Ovaries Could Talk book 🏳️🌈 Edited by: Jerson Barajas 🏳️🌈 Theme Song by: Tiffany Topol 🏳️🌈 Logo by: Daneen Stevenato 🏳️🌈 Shop merch here. 🏳️🌈 Full transcript & episode info available on our website🗳️ VOTE. 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ ADVOCATE. 🍼 BUILD QUEER FAMILIES.The information shared in this episode is for educational purposes only and not a substitute for professional advice. Always consult a trusted professional for your specific situation!Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/the-queer-family-podcast/exclusive-contentAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy
