How To Forgive the Unforgivable

For years Claire has been holding on to a terrible family secret: Her mom physically abused Claire’s brother when he was young. How could her mom have done that? Now, over a decade later, both Claire’s mother and brother have passed away, but Claire still grapples daily with feelings of anger and deep resentment toward her mom. In this episode of How To!, we bring in Reverend Mpho Tutu van Furth, the daughter of Archbishop Desmond Tutu and author of The Book of Forgiving. Mpho struggled with forgiveness herself after experiencing an awful tragedy in her South African home. The first step to forgiveness, Mpho says, is telling the story of the hurt—whether that means writing it down or, in Claire’s case, coming on a podcast. Slate Plus members get ad-free podcasts and bonus episodes of shows like Slow Burn and Dear Prudence. Sign up now to listen and support our work. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices