EP105 Boundaries: Set Them Wisely

Setting boundaries wisely has very little to do with “other” people. Learn the truth about where smart boundary setting truly starts and WHY if you don’t start “there,” your efforts will be in vain. If you struggle with boundaries, THIS is probably why… Transcript: Hey Gorgeous, if you want success on your fertility journey, you've got to have the mindset for it. It's time to kick fear, negativity, doubt, shame, jealousy, and the whole clown car of low vibe fertility journey BS to the curb. I'm your host, Roseanne Austin, Fertility Mindset Master. Former prosecutor and recovering type A control freak perfectionist. I use the power of mindset to get pregnant naturally and have my baby boy at 43, despite years of fertility treatment failure. I help women across the globe beat the odds on their fertility journey, just like I did. Get ready for a quick hit of confidence, joy, feminine badassery, and loads of hell yes for your fertility journey. It's time to get fearless baby, fearlessly fertile. Let's do this. Welcome to the Fearlessly Fertile podcast, episode 105. Boundaries. Set them wisely. Hey loves, welcome to part two in this three part series on boundaries. We are going to talk about setting boundaries wisely. Interestingly enough, that has more to do with you than it does other people. Most of the time we get that shit backwards. That is a mistake we make when we don't own the role we play in the creation of the circumstances in our lives. I get it. I get it. It's a hell of a lot more comfortable to blame other people for our shit than to come face to face with our shortcomings. That is what women who win do. That's what they do. They face shit. Well, they don't just face shit, they face it and they do something about it. Like it or not, if people are not acting right in your life, You had a role in that. Now, is that something to feel sorry for yourself about or get mad at me over because I love you enough to point that out? No. What the hell does either of those things do to move you forward? Not a fucking thing. If you are smart, you will receive this loving nudge with humility, own your role like a big girl, and ask a simple but wildly intelligent question. What needs to happen for me to break this shitty pattern? Put another way, what do you need to believe about you in order to set a particular boundary? This question should not knock you on your ass, because we started to explore this idea last week in episode one. This week, we are refining the inquiry a bit more and getting to the heart of it. Why? Because wise boundaries are informed boundaries. Informed by what's true for you. What you desire and what's in your heart. Wise boundaries are a reflection of our personal, individual values. Our boundaries are not about groupthink. Remember, as a grown woman, you have the ability to evaluate your boundaries and decide if they actually work for you. And you want to be real careful here, particularly when you're asking the question about whether or not your current set of boundaries are actually working for you. It's real easy for your saboteurs to slide in and give you some silver tongue bullshit to make you think that they're working. Chances are if you were sick and tired in your life, they ain't working girl. They ain't working. Now that doesn't mean boundaries are arbitrary and capricious. They are put in place because they actually matter to you. If you find yourself flying off the handle over seemingly innocuous shit, I'm willing to bet that there is a boundary of yours that has gotten trampled upon so much that mama's patience has worn thin. But the problem is, she doesn't think she'll be loved if she enforces it. Take note of that. Wise boundaries are about trusting yourself. Let me repeat that wise boundaries are about trusting yourself,