33 Arthur Gillis: learnings from a blended family by a seasoned entrepreneur dad & grandad

“As fathers we sometimes have to be benevolent dictators, even if our children are grown-ups, they are still children.” Arthur Gillis on dadicated.com If this podcast helps you being a better parent, please consider leaving a review and share it with another parent or two. I truly love getting feedback from you, in fact it makes my day! Arthur Gillis is married and lives in South Africa. He is a titan in the hospitality industry, maybe the most successful in Africa. He is a serial hotelier and proud dad of five. Three of those kids are his biological children and two came with the second marriage. However Arthur and his wife took the line of treating all kids as their own kids. All five are married and Arthur is a grandfather of three, soon four children. Arthur speaks from the heart and his experience shares are powerful & inspiring.  As entrepreneur and CEO Arthur grew the Protea Hotels Group from the initial four hotels to the leading hotel operating company in Africa consisting of 128 hotels in 19 countries with 16.000 employees. After 36 years, in 2014, Arthur facilitated the sale of Protea Hotels’ three brands and management company to Marriott International, Inc.. In our session Arthur shares his own journey of being a dad, a granddad, an entrepreneur and how he manages to blend the many family streams that make up his own family today. Arthur shares some amazing insights and very practical experience shares on building a successful family. Some of the shares are on positive conflict, family forum and family counsel, Arthur's estate planning, forging bonds with children, fathering the fatherlessness, treating children appropriately instead of equally, money and its energy, turning disadvantages into advantages. The most powerful takeaways for me as a dad where: Listen more to other Dads who have walked this path before. Be kinder to yourself. If you have no choice at least make the experience beautiful. In a blended family: never side with blood, ever. Show your children your vulnerability. It’s a strength and not a weakness. Find a project, like restoring a car or anything really, to do together with your boys to forge bonds. Have a psychologist or independent third party on call to act as family counselor. Quality time has to equate quantity time. Beautiful routine for all parents: “What made you glad what made you sad? What do you want to do tomorrow and what do you want to do right now? This is your time, you chose.” 45 minutes exclusive one on one time with your child. Please support www.togetherforcapetown.com. Our aim is to raise enough money for 3.000.000 meals for kids in Cape Town’s townships. Arthur:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/arthur-gillis-5540566/ Philipp:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/philipphartmann2 Books mentioned in this episode: Life of Ludwig van Beethoven’s Biography. Raising Boys by Steve Bidulph https://www.stevebiddulph.com/Home.html https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_8th_Habit Good to Great https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_to_Great by Jim Collins https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_C._Collins