103 | Extending Grace - Ashly White

Ashly was 18 years old when she was pregnant and birthed her first child. Reflecting, she expresses that she didn't know much, either about the preparation or what her experience could be like. Ashly and her partner flowed through, just trying to figure it all out. Her birth would include many shifts, and one that she felt lost in was bringing her baby earthside with a surgical birth. When she began expanding her family again, she knew she wanted and deserved a different story. The moment she and her husband found out they were expecting, she began building her birth team - this included a doula from a local organization ROOTT and a black OB. The three of them worked together and filled in the gaps for each other when one couldn't hold a particular space for her. The support from her birth team surrounded her in not only care but also her whole family, allowing them to support Ashly in having the VBACs she had envisioned. Throughout her journey, Ashly had to learn to extend grace to herself. In the moments that seemed out of her control, but especially in the moments that made her feel whole, and in each new stage of postpartum, she knows that has to be at the core - working on who she is outside of her kids, sharing " If I'm not whole, then what I'm giving them isn't the best of me." This being the part of her journey requiring the most grace.