Episode 304: Nepotism & Keeping The Focus on Yourself

Kick Your Acting Career in Gear Okay, so today's podcast is motivated by someone writing to me, wanting to me to talk a little bit about nepo babies, nepotism.  Of course, I'm going to say that nepotism and keeping the focus on yourself is the key.  The focus because there's nothing you can do about somebody else is, birthrights or relatives, but you can do something about keeping the focus on yourself because that is your birthright. So my wonderful listener gave me this topic and she asked what my take on nepo babies and their advantages and disadvantages are in booking roles or projects.  Again, what I would say is this is not something that you can control. And I talk about this in terms of the serenity prayer.  Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. And wisdom to know the difference.  And what that means for me is to grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Means I cannot change. Make your ears grow bigger.  Or control other people, places, things, or situations.  So whether I'm going up for a role where there is someone's famous relative going up for the role, As well, that is not something I can change or control. Courage to change the things I can. I can only change, manage, or handle myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions.  My focus on that audition, regardless of who else is up for it.  And wisdom to know the difference. Wisdom, my favorite word in the American language. Wisdom to know the difference. And that wisdom is the ability to know what I cannot control, which is other people, places, and things. And I can't change that either.  And what I can change, manage, handle, which is myself, my attitudes, my thoughts, and my actions. So the ability to differentiate that. So my take on NEPO babies and their advantages and disadvantages in booking roles and projects, it's none of my damn business. My business is to stay focused on my work and what I can do for my life. This listener goes on to say, “What chance do I have, if I even have the opportunity to compete with one?”  Again, none of my damn business.  It doesn't matter who else is up for the role.  It matters that I am up for the role. And that I take advantage of every opportunity that I have. And I need to do that by being good at my job, by being good at the business.  But most of all, by knowing me, by being emotionally self-sufficient, I can get myself over these mental and emotional hurdles, so that I can do my job.  I want to see, there was one more thing she said that I really liked. She mentions this, and then kind of goes with this, but I want to add it in because I think it's so good and you may relate to this. “I had just said to a friend, I feel like I'm always coming in second.” This is what I would say: Second best is only one step behind the first. Second is one step behind first.  And last week I talked about tenacity and I talked about doubling down.  If you feel that you're always coming in second or third or you're getting the avail but you're not getting the job or you're getting put on hold and you're not getting the job, my joke is all the different ways we can, we we can term that avail check, pinned, first refusal. If you find that's where you're at, it is time to listen to that Podcast episode, the one before this, right after you finish listening to this one and doubling down on your commitment. I also want to just give you a few tips on keeping the focus on yourself because I always like to be at the cause of my life and not at the effect of it. And if you think about the theme of this particular podcast it's right in there.  The first one is this, and I said it before, but avoid comparison and despair.  It's a wonderful little phrase. Compare and despair.  Focus on your own journey and progress rather than mention than measuring yourself against others. Rather than measuring yourself against others. Another great one is watch measuring someone else's.  Stop putting your self worth on and depending on other people's outsides by judging on your insides.  It's just not comparable.  The other thing is to prioritize self care. Make sure that you're taking good care of you.  So that you don't abandon yourself.  I did a great podcast a little while ago that got more listens than just about any other podcast I did about abandoning the self. Regularly engage in activities that nourish your physical, mental, and emotional being, and I talked about last podcast allowing me to be your mentor, allowing me to be that positive voice in your life, listen to these podcasts while you're doing the dishes, you're doing the laundry, you're doing the mundane. Because one of the things that I did while I was really starting this work, is on my cassette tapes, I would listen to, that's how long ago it was, I would listen to positive messages.  So no matter what I was doing, I had positive messages going in, not the crap that was going on between my ears. And the final one that I want to tell you about today is really setting personal boundaries.  Learning how to say no to distractions or demands that take you away from what it is you really want.  Your personal goals and your priorities. Personal growth.